love is in the air?

Oh, Valentine's Day.

You will come to find, dear Reader, if you continue to follow my blog and spy on my life ;) that I very much enjoy holidays. I like to make a big deal out of holidays and birthdays. I don't know why; my parents used to make a big deal out of them, which probably explains it. I screwed up New Years' this year... but that is past now, time to move on. What is the next big holiday?

Valentine's Day.

Hated by many. Loved by some. Seen as ridiculous by others. Personally... I love it. Yes, you should show your significant other (and your friends and family) daily how you feel about them. Or if not daily, at least often. Not just on one day of the year. Yet... what's wrong with a special day of the year just to focus on love? Do you have to have someone you are dating? No. Just show love. Tell everyone you love how you feel, so they know. It doesn't have to be about not having a date.

That being said.

I have just spent Valentine's Day alone, in class, out of town, away from everyone I love... and alone. If not for my bff texting me, I wouldn't have really had much of anything.

I sent flowers to the Pretty One. She isn't really into holidays or birthdays. She has also been having quite a rough time, dealing with some things. But I sent her flowers. Nothing huge, just some lilys, because I know she loves them. She said thank you a few times. Said I kept her from being able to continue to be angry about being awake all day.

I didn't expect anything. I know she doesn't like holidays, so I don't pretend to think she will suddenly love them and start making a big deal out of them. I just... haven't really gotten to talk to her in 3 days. Two of those days she's been in an extremely bad mood. Today she was in a bad mood. Til she got home and her friends came over... but I couldn't talk to her then, cause she had people over.

I guess it doesn't really matter. She's got stuff to deal with. we aren't really together. I shouldn't expect anything at all, really.

I'm just lonely. I've been away from home a very long time. I miss my friends. I don't like being this alone. I haven't hugged anyone since my brother and his man left from visiting me. I'm tired of being here. I'm ready to go home.

Happy Fucking Valentine's.