what you see from the outside

Things I have learned so far on this trip:

1. I can totally survive without my own car. It's difficult for my control issues, and I don't *really* like it. But I can make it just fine.

2. I'm not happy with how I look. Most of you can't really see it, because it's really just about how I look naked. I used to look a ton better. I used to be a ton more comfortable with myself. But then I got extremely depressed, a little lazy, and turned 25+, and I gained some weight I have yet to get rid of. Lost a little tone... The nice thing is, though, that it's not out of hand yet. I have plenty of time to get back to where I want to be. When I get home, as I've been planning all along, I'm hitting the gym like a mad woman. I have 4 months to lose about 16 pounds and get back in the shape I was happy with. Completely able to accomplish that, as long as I buckle down and do what I need to do: actually keep track of what I eat, and get to the gym/tae kwon do daily.

3. I could move somewhere. I could move out of Oklahoma and be ok. As long as I moved with someone (like a significant other). I would be able to do that. I would miss my family, but I think it would help me grow in some other ways. Will I ever actually move? Who knows. It'd be good for my career to move at some point. We will just have to see where things take me.

4. I don't like sitting all day. It's been a nice change of scenery, but I miss running all over the floor, checking in with people, and my feet being exhausted at the end of the day.

5. The people that really matter... have let me know, in some way, that they miss me. It was pretty much who I figured it would be. A couple surprises. But some people have made an effort to let me know they haven't forgotten about me. That is a nice thing. I very much miss them.

I'm ready to get home.

5 more days.